Sunday, December 10, 2006

I don't know why God had decided to take you away from us at so early and young an age. But people say and I've come to believe that there's always a hikmah behind everything that happens. 2 years is a very short time and I feel as if I've been robbed of a lifetime to spend with you. Every one of us had plans for you. But I guess, God's plan is so much better.

Often, I find myself clinging onto your favourite songkok and pants and walking round the house calling out your name. This house is so quiet without you. And we used to think it was too noisy when you were around. But right now, the silence is so deafening and it makes all of us cry. Closing the door to my bedroom feels so pointless especially when I know that you are not around to open it to let yourself in. But I still do that time to time, hoping that you do just that.

I sit outside the house and wait for you to come running down the stairs, racing your sister to the house door. I don't feel like eating at home knowing that you're not around to empet-empet and take food off my plate. I miss you stealing drinks from my cans of soft drink and then blaming it on Kakak or Mom. I miss hearing the fridge door open and close cause you always loved to check the fridge for anything that you can mess the house with. I miss you climbing every window grille, every table, every cabinet and in short everything as if you were Spiderman! I miss you going round the house and suddenly doing silat for all of us to laugh at. I miss you going round the house and suddenly breaking into a jig for all of us to laugh at. You like listening to music cause everytime you do you'd jump around and laugh and cheer! 'Technologic' made you giggle and laugh. Tet and Kakak just thought you how to headbang didn't they? I miss you Iman. We all miss you. Yah, Ma, Babang, Tet, Ayie and Kak misses you so much.

Words just can't put to shape and form the feelings we feel right now and how badly we miss you. You were very naughty and cheeky! Always making us angry at you for something that you did and then you'd come around and pujuk us and when we are all calmed down, you'd do it all over again! So cheeky! Always wanted to be like your abang abang right? Must wear jeans when going out. Ma can never say that you look like Yah cause then you'd take off all the clothes and not want to wear it again. You always said you sayang Yah and you were anak Yah but you always slept with Ma. Ma misses you alot Man. Next year, Ayie will be serving his NS. Babang would have finished his BPT but then he would have to go out often for his NS. Tet and Kak has school and Yah has work. Ma would be alone at home for periods of time. Please keep her company k Man? She misses you so much. She loves you. We all love you Man. But God loves you so much more.

Right now, this heart feels so heavy just writing this cause I have to recall so many fond memories of him and it just makes me cry to do so. I'll write more as time gets by. Right now, I would like to thank some people for being there for me to help me see through these days of darkness and giving me all your support. You guys, are definitely kawan ketawa and kawan nangis and I pray that I can be the same for you.

Thanks Azman for being physically there throughout the ordeal since the outset. Me love you long time. Veterans stick together right? You've been my pillar of strength.
Thanks Azra and Budi for rushing over to my place and then with Haris in tow to the hospital to give me support and love.
Thanks Amira for offering me a listening ear should I ever need one. I appreciate it.
Thanks Dini for being a beacon of light and hope in this blinding darkness. I take all your words and advice to heart and it does help in giving me peace and solace. Thanks to your mom too for her kind and gentle words.
Thanks Faz for being such a good friend and hearing me out and being so concerned for me. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to tease you right now, but this will take some time. Thanks.
Thanks Qamarul, Farid, Syafiq, Nasrul, and Halim for coming back down and meeting me to give me support and concern even though you guys missed me earlier on in the day. You guys are hardcore you know that?
Thanks Rohanna for your kind words. I appreciate it.
Thanks to all of you who kept Iman, my family and myself in your prayers throughout this ordeal, I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I pray that someday I'll be able to repay you for all the kindness and concern that you have poured onto us. InsyaAllah I will.

To Khairul Iman my beloved brother, moga Allah mencucuri rahmat kepada Iman. InsyaAllah kita sekeluarga akan berjumpa lagi. Amin.