Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I needed to find a way to stop you from falling into my mind.
I ran for an hour. It was only drizzling when I started but gradually it began to pour. And I ran and ran and ran till my heart felt like giving out. Till I couldn't catch my own breath. Till I couldn't see a single thing ahead of me. Till I felt so small. I am finding out that maybe I was wrong. I've fallen down and I can't do this alone. Please heart. Please stop beating. So that this won't hurt anymore than it should.
When I reached home I felt so empty. So drained. So tired. So alone. So small. It's amazing how the rain always seems to be able to drain me dry.
After a while, I just couldn't bear the unbearable weight and feeling of being so empty. And I left my house to walk round the neighbourhood. The rain had petered out to a drizzle. I just walked wherever my heart led me to. To my sanctuary. The skies had cleared up abit. And I sat there looking out for the stars. There was little that I could see. Not even a single earthgrazer. It felt good to be back there once again. Hidden in the woods away from the bright lights. And I called out to you to no avail. And then I broke down and cried.
But the Lord works in mysterious ways. When I finally got up and prepared to walk my way out, the fireflies and fireworms were out. It was so beautiful. This heart will keep on beating for tomorrow, though all hope is lost for the day.
The things you make me wanna do,
I'd break into the zoo and set all the animals free.
.
